that night.
contemplations.
honesty truimphed, albeit impatient.
all is clear.
am i supposed to take a breather.
an instantaneous gratifification.
spontaneous reactions.
and a simultaneous jubilation.
all was great.
then it came daunting today.
that promise made.
my patience. how i doubted, again and again.
things were worthy, things were meaningful, but would i have mental capacity to wait.
that thought that drives me.
the angel and devil began waging their war
across the grey matter which became their killing fields.
the innocent material that were slain?
i want to cry. cry so badly.
i dont want to be torn apart.
because i dont want to be selfish.
fly high.
like the bird,
freed upon its clutches,
its wings weak from rest, but finally spread.
your destiny, as high as the sky, as wide as the horizon.
across the vast ocean you shall glide,
no stopping points to rest, no stopping points of regret.
he bid you farewell, farewell from that cliff you shall take off.
the grass on the other end shall be greener.
the waters more pristine, clear and blue.
that spirituality your little cage will never offer.
when the spring comes again.
perhaps he'll be by the cliff with that cage
its little rusted door open,
its perch as it had used to be, small, insignificant, yet always inviting.
he hoped that would happen.
he hoped that the loneliness would never create that empty vortex.
that vortex of despair.
the chirps. the fluttering. those dropping feathers.
he does not want to be enticed. enticed into a new world.
enticed into that pet shop
enticed by its creatures.
perhaps. he should never have doubted himself in the first place.
Labels: expression, memory
