how long has kyouhei slacked?
the whole length that saw no posts. that was the whole length
sometimes. when the nice people. the insightful. tell me.
hey. i think. so and so. is mature.
i replied then. hm. maybe. but doesnt that feel old.
mature. the ability to think.
but yet the severe lacking of seeing the future?
wait. the future could be seen.
but the action. it could not be taken?
it could not be sparked? non spontaneous reaction involving a huge activation energy?
i wondered. or did i even ponder?
why. how many weekends have been wasted.
even the toes do not suffice the counting.
"its still ok, its the start of may."
"theres still a little time"
how do people redeem themselves?
inspire?
ignite?
does it really all just come from within.
or is it just this idiot black box sitting in front of me.
catching mice. staying the in the community. keeping a little link. a glimmer of hope.
is this what i want.
How. tell me how
if only you could speak to me
if only you could ever learn to nag.
if only i could always consult you
if only you people could push and scold.
if only...
if only i understood that stength cannot come from others but oneself.
what a hypocracy.
Labels: memory
