it used to be a neutral day with an additional cake to eat. blow. and
nothing much else.

not a friend you asked?
not a friend even I replied.

and so came my 17th. friends
you people whom i was able to share my cake with.
was i not slightly touched?

18th
the little pink book.
the little orange bear.
the nine little chocolate crunchies.
the little card.
wasnt i touched?

to think i could doubt my people.
the same people who always touched me.
to forget? to postpone?

to feel more proud of the others who sang spontaneously?
was it admiration? jealousy?

im sorry. i know i was wrong to feel that way.

my 18th.
such an eventful.
i did not quite enjoy the realism that coupled all that idealism that day.
initially. that is.

the return of the papers.
physics of how that confidence built?
unlikely to do that little?

im not sure what was it.
the total shock. the awakening.

the return of pw.
i couldnt feel any much better.
if anyone of us gets shot, i'll bleed for you too.
tomodachi. what does it mean to us?
my tear fell for you.

so surreal it had been. of all the dreams
so real it had been. of all the pains.

i understand your pains hikari. the pains of life which you must overlook.
the need for us to enjoy life. not falsely perfectly of all the happiness.
but as beautifully imperfectly. of emotions.
the sad. isint that feeling a feeling of life too? a feeling of
existance and wholesome to be treasured?
the sad which will give contrast. give meaning to happiness.
and bring about happiness.

if only i could see so much meaning to life everyday.

Labels: memory